Life is Beautiful………. Again……….

October 31, 2012 § Leave a comment

Life is beautiful now. I am alive again.

– An almost adolescent happiness.
Eyes sparkle with mirth,
Smiles break out easier,
Burden of painful memories are gone
Leaving behind small marks of maturity
and evidence of pulling through.

Eyes reach for dreams,
the city hasn’t changed,
unfulfilled dreams are still unfulfilled
But the joy inside is so abundant that
all that is missing
seems now insignificant.

Have never been drunk enough
to feel this way
but I guess this is how it feels.
I even have a hangover from this joy.

I will relish this feeling every second
As long as it lasts.
And when it goes, that’s OK too.
I am grateful for having had this.
But I will wait for it to return
like a long lost lover.
I feel so free that
if had wings I would fly.
My heart already is.



Sorry, my friend, for the mirror i shattered

October 31, 2012 § Leave a comment

I once had a friend. One who reflected things i did not know and things i did not want to see about myself.

She was the mirror that exposed me to myself.
No dark corner to hide, no room to escape.
Her observations
i could not stop with bluster
For they were neither cirticism nor advice
i could not blindside with charm
for she was not overwhelmed by me
i could not will unsaid
as i did with people who could not stand to hurt me
There was nothing to do but to face those truths
for she cared,
she spoke kindly,
and gave solutions.
Now a decade later i look back in life
with regret on the day i broke up with her
stating she was too good for me.
All i knew then was that I was uncomfortable
I know now that i broke up because
with her
i could not hide from myself.
i could not love myself when i was thus exposed.
what i failed to understand was
She would have loved me anyway
i would be a better person today.
So my friend if on any day u read this
u will know why i walked away
and forgive me for the pain i regret till this day.

Love & Loyalty

October 31, 2012 § Leave a comment

What was that love which i had? 
that were a part of me when it was there.
Yet, i surrendered it to loyalty
for that was what was required of me.
Was it right to let it go?
that is something i do not know.
Is it a price i would again pay?
yes, for i could not live with myself any other way.
What was that love which i had?
That took a part of me when it wasn’t there.


October 31, 2012 § Leave a comment

wonder what is there beyond
the everyday routine
the past, the present, the future
the disappointments, heartbreaks, sorrows
the bonds, ties, affections
all thats mine, yours and theirs

what peace i cannot find here
why do i hope to find in that ‘beyond’?
is this hope, an escape or a fool’s paradise?
is there a ‘beyond’ that guarantees peace?
or is it just another here?


October 31, 2012 § Leave a comment

Suppose the world as we see it was not real.
Suppose the the fact that we see,
hear or sense in any which way was not really real.
Suppose the whole world realizes that
God never meant the world to be what it is today.

Where Am I?

You are currently viewing the archives for October, 2012 at capriciousmusings.