June 2, 2016 § Leave a comment
I’m back in the city, working at starting pay, living by myself sharing a room with a roomie.
I’m nervous, scared and overwhelmed about starting my life all over again so late in life. About living on a shoestring budget, about being acceptable to others, about how people will treat me now.
I remind myself of friends who have made it with grace, of the friendly and generous city to shore up my courage and build my confidence and that I do have people I can fall back on.
It all feels too real. There is no regret, fear yes but regret – no.
I look for him to help me through this, just a guiding hand, a shoulder every now and then, someone I can count on in times of need.
He gives me a ride when I need one after work at night. Once he drops me off for a relative’s visit. It is a beautiful place.
It starts off with a rectangular arch, more if a horizontal pillar placed atop two sculpted vertical pillars on either side. Shallow steps cut on stone lead you to a huge waterfall fountain bordered with pavement for walking alongside the gushing water. A traditional temple sirs atop the fountain.
You can feel the spirituality, divinity and serenity in the air. The place is clean and air is clear, though its on a busy street.
The uncovered paved walkway leads to the temple, surrounding which are well spaced, highend residences over a grassy, undulating plain that rises and falls so gracefully.
Beyond the large expanse of grass lay the woods.
Ah! The woods –
They are lush, mysterious and so pregnant with life. Emotions, hormones and adrenaline run high. I walk through the woods with him and like-minded others. We make our way as a group.
The forest gives way to a mountain with a treacherous path to climb with only a steep fall by the side. I climb, we climb. I’m scared all the time but something pushes me to climb. I sense elation within my grasp and that eggs me on. I will rest atop the hill and find the next mountain to climb. Atop the hill I don’t see him any more. I’m complete on my own.