June 4, 2016 § Leave a comment
Masks and Purpose
Oh! The weight of the many faces
That loads the mind with their many purpose
Burying the one that needs to be pursued
The inner journey is all about
Resurrection and then staying the course
June 2, 2016 § Leave a comment
I’m back in the city, working at starting pay, living by myself sharing a room with a roomie.
I’m nervous, scared and overwhelmed about starting my life all over again so late in life. About living on a shoestring budget, about being acceptable to others, about how people will treat me now.
I remind myself of friends who have made it with grace, of the friendly and generous city to shore up my courage and build my confidence and that I do have people I can fall back on.
It all feels too real. There is no regret, fear yes but regret – no.
I look for him to help me through this, just a guiding hand, a shoulder every now and then, someone I can count on in times of need.
He gives me a ride when I need one after work at night. Once he drops me off for a relative’s visit. It is a beautiful place.
It starts off with a rectangular arch, more if a horizontal pillar placed atop two sculpted vertical pillars on either side. Shallow steps cut on stone lead you to a huge waterfall fountain bordered with pavement for walking alongside the gushing water. A traditional temple sirs atop the fountain.
You can feel the spirituality, divinity and serenity in the air. The place is clean and air is clear, though its on a busy street.
The uncovered paved walkway leads to the temple, surrounding which are well spaced, highend residences over a grassy, undulating plain that rises and falls so gracefully.
Beyond the large expanse of grass lay the woods.
Ah! The woods –
They are lush, mysterious and so pregnant with life. Emotions, hormones and adrenaline run high. I walk through the woods with him and like-minded others. We make our way as a group.
The forest gives way to a mountain with a treacherous path to climb with only a steep fall by the side. I climb, we climb. I’m scared all the time but something pushes me to climb. I sense elation within my grasp and that eggs me on. I will rest atop the hill and find the next mountain to climb. Atop the hill I don’t see him any more. I’m complete on my own.
June 2, 2016 § 2 Comments
His purple face and bulging eyes
Controlled steps and unsaid words
His cutting comments and wounding pricks
Manipulative threats and irrational curses
His thundering steps and raised voice
The tornado that hits all in its path
His smokescreen to deflect
Or have his way
Makes it hard to remember
The shoulder he lent,
the hug that cocooned,
the hand I held,
the steps I followed,
And the heart that blessed.
Remember, remember what anger can do
To you and the rest and memories too.
May 11, 2016 § Leave a comment
The picture that comes to my mind is a life’s journey that starts as child’s walk through woods among sunlight, lush greenery and wondrous discoveries. The well-worn path moves through a tunnel and I walk it as I feel I must, all the while missing all the things I left behind. My steps are heavier though the path is easy – my spirit is heavier as this is not my way. I rush when I see the light at the end and once there, my new-found wisdom tells me to walk through the forest when I come to the next tunnel. Will I?
October 3, 2015 § Leave a comment
It came like a laser ray, burning a hole through my heart
I felt it, sat with it, even entertained it,
Until I found the strength to bundle it all up and send it back out, floating into the atmosphere;
Hoping to god that this heavy missive filled with yearning would somehow, someway change things in my life helping me shed it or seal it.
The laser left a splinter in its place though,
And it still festers in my heart.
August 29, 2015 § Leave a comment
He nips just enough to draw a sharp breath and caresses you so softly that leaves you yearning for more. You soar with him until he singes your soul. He stays with you to gently rock you to sleep.
With breeze, moon and music, who needs the heartache of guys?
August 23, 2015 § Leave a comment
I miss you when I listen to a song that moves me to my soul
When I feel the rhythm flow, I want to flow with you
when the words are so beautiful that bring tears to my eyes,
I imagine saying them to you.
I borrow them to say to you.
When I am at a scenic place,
when I feel the sense of being Oh! so alone,
I fill the gap with you.
Its you I long for.
When I am sitting in a restaurant
enjoying a lovely evening with company,
I miss you. I want to share that simple pleasure with you.
You are becoming the filler for all thats missing in life.
No one can carry that.
I try to remember that its not real.
I can’t hold you to that.
But still a part of me dreams
What if you are real?